In Illinois, a behavioral indicator of sexual abuse in children is the unwillingness to change for gym class.

Understanding what signals abuse can be tough. When you’re around kids, you want to help without overstepping. In the Illinois child welfare landscape, recognizing how a child behaves can guide you to get them the support they need sooner rather than later. Let’s talk through one specific behavioral clue and how it fits into the bigger picture of safeguarding kids.

The key behavioral red flag: shy away from gym clothes and gym time

Here’s the thing: a common behavioral indicator that something isn’t right is when a child becomes unwilling to change for gym class or to participate in physical education activities. In everyday terms, that means a kid who starts avoiding changing for PE, skipping classes, or showing noticeable anxiety during activities that involve body exposure or movement. It isn’t a slam-dunk proof of abuse by itself, but it can be a meaningful sign when it appears suddenly or alongside other concerns.

Why this particular reaction? Bodies and boundaries are personal, and gym time can force visibility—changing clothes, towels, shower facilities, and demonstrations of physical contact. If a child has experienced inappropriate touching or other sexual harm, the idea of changing clothes or being in close quarters with peers or adults can trigger fear, shame, or painful memories. The child might withdraw, appear tense, or shift into avoidance mode in situations that used to feel safe. In short, their reaction to ordinary routines can become a window into something more troubling beneath the surface.

What this sign is not

It’s important to keep things in perspective. Frequent participation in sports, excelling in academics, or easy, positive interactions with friends are not reliable indications of abuse by themselves. Those patterns often reflect resilience, normal social development, or supportive environments. So while a child’s engagement in activities and learning is a healthy sign, it doesn’t specifically confirm or rule out abuse. The value lies in looking at patterns over time and in combination with other signs or disclosures.

Possible related signs to watch for

If you’re paying close attention, you might notice a cluster of indicators rather than a single data point. Together, they can paint a clearer picture. Some patterns that often accompany concerns about abuse include:

• Sudden changes in mood or behavior, such as increased anxiety, withdrawal, or irritability.

• Fear around certain people, places, or routine activities, especially those involving bodily exposure.

• Regression to earlier behaviors (for example, bed-wetting, nightmares, or clinginess) after a period of stability.

• Reluctance to talk about school or home life, or a sudden drop in trust in adults.

• Unexplained physical signs, like bruises or discomfort in areas that would be unusual for ordinary sports activity, when paired with the behavioral signs.

• Sexualized talk or behavior that seems inappropriate for the child’s age, presented in ways that feel forced or confusing.

A practical way to think about it is this: trust your instincts, but treat any one sign as a piece of a larger puzzle. If several signals appear together, or if there’s a credible memory or disclosure from the child, that’s a strong reason to take action.

What to do if you notice this sign

If you’re in a position to support a child—teacher, coach, counselor, family friend, or health professional—start with a careful, kid-centered approach. Don’t pressure the child to “tell you everything.” Instead, create a calm, private space where they feel safe to share at their own pace. Here are gentle, practical steps:

• Approach with care: use neutral questions, avoid leading or pronouncing guilt on others, and remind them that you’re there to help.

• Listen more than you talk: let the child guide the conversation; acknowledge their feelings without judgment.

• Document what you observe: note dates, what happened, who was involved at the time, and any direct statements from the child. Your notes can be crucial later.

• Report responsibly: if there’s a concern that a child’s safety might be at risk, escalate to the right professionals. In Illinois, the Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) runs the Child Abuse Hotline, available 24/7 at 1-800-252-2873. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911.

• Don’t investigate on your own: you’re not the investigator. You’re a helper who can connect the child with trained responders who know how to handle sensitive situations with care and expertise.

• Respect privacy and confidentiality: share information only with people who need to know to keep the child safe.

Working with caregivers and schools

Kids don’t live in isolation. They move between home, school, neighborhoods, and sports programs. That means responses need to be coordinated and respectful, with the child’s best interests at heart. If you’re a school staff member, a coach, or a youth program leader, here are some practical ways to support:

• Build a safe environment: establish clear, age-appropriate rules about changing areas, privacy, and what’s normal during sports and physical activities.

• Offer body-safety discussions: teach kids about personal boundaries and the right to say no to unwanted touch in an age-appropriate way. Normalize conversations about safety so kids feel safe speaking up.

• Be observant, not accusatory: a sign or two isn’t proof of abuse, but patterns deserve attention. Always document, report, and seek guidance from professionals when in doubt.

• Provide options for support: connect families with local resources, such as counseling services or family supports, and share information about how to access DCFS resources.

• Maintain cultural sensitivity: understand that families come from diverse backgrounds, and responses to stress or trauma can look different across cultures. Approach with curiosity, humility, and respect.

How this topic fits into the bigger picture of child welfare

Recognizing a potential sign of abuse is about protecting a child’s safety and well-being—not about making judgments about families. The Illinois child welfare framework emphasizes a cautious, child-centered approach. When a trusted adult notices a red flag, the move is to seek help from trained professionals who can assess risk, listen to the child, and provide or connect them with appropriate services. That process is grounded in a commitment to safety, dignity, and timely support.

Real-life perspectives that help us stay grounded

Think about a coach who notices a student who used to sprint through gym class but now balks at getting changed. The coach might pause after class to check in, offering a quick, private conversation and a chance to talk without pressure. The aim isn’t to pry into personal life but to ensure the child feels seen and protected. Or imagine a social worker who looks for patterns across family and school settings, weighing what a child says against what is observed in routines, and then guiding families toward resources that help heal and rebuild trust.

To sum it up: a single behavior isn’t a verdict

A child who refuses to change for gym class can be a signal that something isn’t right. It’s one potential indicator among many, and it deserves thoughtful, compassionate attention. When adults respond with care, documentation, and timely reporting to the right authorities, they can help ensure the child’s safety and well-being while avoiding unnecessary embarrassment or stigma.

A few words on prevention and resilience

Prevention isn’t just about reacting to problems. It’s about creating environments where kids feel safe to speak up, where adults model respectful behavior, and where boundaries are taught and respected early on. Schools, sports programs, and community organizations can weave body-safety education into their routines, make privacy a default, and train staff to notice the subtle shifts that might signal danger. In the long run, that kind of culture helps reduce harm and give kids the resilience they need to recover and grow.

If you’re reading this, you’re already stepping into a role that matters

Children rely on adults to notice when something isn’t right and to act with care. If you ever see a child pulling away from gym time in a way that seems more than simple shyness or discomfort, don’t look away. Start with a gentle, private conversation, keep notes, and reach out to the right professionals. The Illinois DCFS Child Abuse Hotline is there for help—1-800-252-2873. And if a child is in immediate danger, dialing 911 should always come first.

Final thought: care is a powerful move

Watching for these signs is about protection, not punishment. It’s about giving kids a chance to feel safe, heard, and supported. When we respond with empathy, clear steps, and timely professional guidance, we’re not just addressing a momentary worry—we’re helping a child find a path to safety and healing. If you’re part of a school, a team, or a community program, you have a responsibility to turn concern into care. And that small shift—starting with listening, documenting, and reporting—can change a child’s life for the better.